what got us here

some thoughts and ramblings from reading “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith

in taking inventory of where we are - the first step to growth - and where we want to go, I think often we will see that the bridge of that space will involve new skills, behaviors, courage, etc that we have not implemented before. I mean, if we had done those things, we might be ‘there’ already, right?

I think one of these gap interventions involves the art of conversation.

the art of connection.

in the often dubbed ‘information age’ - are we missing the connection and conversation that makes life as a human worth living? are we able to embrace each other’s differences and lean in, make seats at the table?

the latest in this line of thinking came via the above mentioned book which is loaded with great contemplative content all summarized under the point that technical prowess might elevate you but only to a point. interpersonal and behavioral skills will be required at a point for further growth to happen - enter the boom of emotional intelligence conversations these days.

while I won’t do the book justice in full review format, nor can I fully break down emotional intelligence (although serve any stent in people management and you’ll have access to a great crash course), I want to bring up a piece that has been marinating for me:

human exchanges involve information and emotions, both of which require a healthy balance for healthy connection.

too much information + too little emotion = conversation turns to a textbook from audible.

too little information + too much emotion = a toddler throwing a tantrum.

both indicators sit on a sliding scale with different circumstances requiring fine tune calibration.

so for growth - in relationships, teams, organizations, movements - the ‘it’ factor is going to be emotional intelligence. with our interactions, there has to be a space between stimulus and response that allows for the questions: what’s needed here? what’s needed now? that ‘space’ is key to calibrate the response.

but there’s another space - the space between my intended output and the received input. that’s where I’ll have to redirect you to this book. all the various ways that space plays out reveals various blind spots that block the connection

so we must mind the gaps.
between information and emotion.
between stimulus and response.
between outputs and inputs.
between opposing and attracting.
between me and you.
the options are dividing or bridging.
the art of conversation is the art of connecting.