out and back

the most common form of trail endeavor i find myself on when going for a solo jaunt is the classic out-and-back. loop trails and point-to-point adventures are great in not having to repeat any sections of the adventure in the same day. but logistically pinning an objective or two on a map and going for them - or simply calculating how many hours or miles i have in me and dividing by two - works easiest when all i really want is time in the woods and a little (or big:) adventure.

the outbound can easily be labeled the most exciting. i have fresh legs, full of curiosity and expectation for the end target, and for each section along the way. what’s around the next bend? how many more switchbacks? what obstacles or terrain are coming up next? and you get surprises good and bad - from false summits, route finding, and animal encounters to peak-a-boo vistas and unexpected waterfalls. and then there’s the summit of course.

which leaves little thrill to the inbound return portion of the journey, right? traversing the same path you took before. tired yet satisfied in checking the box of reaching the target. it’s these sections that i often find myself zoned out, rhythmically shuffling back to the start, and with the car as the final destination, it’s hard not to think of what’s next - a fun meal at best or the rising tide of life stressors at worst.

but i think there’s an invitation to rethink it. i might have missed something the first time through. the same path can offer a different viewpoint at the same vista, different perspective at different angles, new noticings in a different light.
the turnaround is not the end.

as frequently as i may find myself on an out-and-back trail, i’ve been challenging myself to a rethinking posture. you cannot journey close to jesus too long before hearing and wondering about his whole “repent and believe” bit. now i haven’t assembled my wooden box or dusted off a vintage megaphone, but i do love chewing on that phrase in a mindset kinda way.

repent and believe involve thinking. rethink. think again. own the thinking. act on the thinking. transform your mind.

so i’ve spent some of my marginal spaces wondering, “what should i be rethinking?” if the inbound can be better than the outbound, the same trails offering new perspectives - what am i not seeing? what did i miss on first pass? or what do i have upside down and backwards? can i think differently here? it’s the paradox places that jesus invites us to. the first becoming the last. die to live. give to receive. lose to find. servant king.

so i may be traversing some of the same trails, rooting in the same soil, but there is still an invitation to notice something new, to flip something upside down, to see it differently. i can let the roots dry rot in the old, or dig deeper for new wells and new nutrients for new perspectives, fresh fruit.

but to do that i can’t tune out, speed by, blinders on. i have to wait, to pay attention, to stay in it, to linger. there’s a different kind of progress in the pause. wait in the dark for the light. release the old to receive the new. stay in the dirt for the fruit.

stay in it. wait. receive. linger.
the turnaround is not the end.

“and the surviving remnant of the house of Judah shall again take root downward and bear fruit upward.” isaiah 37:31