mantra for the endurer
some ultra mindset wordplay…
i have mentioned before that long endurance efforts on trail for me have both been times for clarity and reflection, but also for digging into the pain cave - doing some interior decorating, remodeling, becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable, refining in the burning. these experiences are mindset shifting and building to say the least.
most ultra runners will have developed or stumbled into some form of “i think i can” mantra to keep moving one foot in front of the other. and there are varied comfort levels associated with time spent in the pain cave, which i find fascinating. everybody is truly running their own race - each individual toeing the line has a different training base, body, rap sheet, headspace, and pain cave visitation rights that they bring to the trail that day. the same mountain and course profile turns into an infinite number of possible experiences. as does life in general right? we are all just humans having human experiences.
last season my base mantra that kept threading through on these long mountain days was “present and patient.”
present. reminding myself to stay present in each moment, each mile, each step. an effort to stay aware and notice the environment, as well as, what my body was doing and needing in each moment of the race. solving small problems while they were small. making decisions for myself now that would set myself up well for 10 miles down the trail. and also having the presence to enjoy the moment. finding gratitude and grounding in the now place. appreciating what i have access to, and receiving it.
patient. part of staying in the "now" moment means i cant let uncontrolled or ungrounded scenarios play on repeat in my head for what was further down the trail or outside of my control. patient to take what the trail was giving me right now - runable or not runable? patient to let my legs come back to me. patient to trust the pace that was appropriate and sustainable. as much as an ultramarathon sounds like wild physical exertion, (and it is, to be fair) the race plays out a lot differently when the energy and posture is patient versus straining and striving. can i rest in the pace i am graced for? resist striving for paces and spaces and accolades that are not for me? trusting my worthiness and identity are already worked out and established before i pinned on the bib. i have to start from enough or i’ll never get there.
and this season, i have found my mantra developing. with patience and presence as the foundation, i feel permission to launch into, “participate and partake.”
participate. stepping up to the start line - the hay’s in the barn. the training and preparation have been done - whether good or bad, optimal or suboptimal - it happened. now the invitation is to participate in the day. participate in the energy, the community, the fitness. what's the invitation here and now? step into the day that my body, the trail, the mountain, the spirit gives me. the reminder to not let it pass me by, but to be an active participant. acknowledge i have something to give the day, and the day has something for me. lean in.
partake. reap the fruits of the training. reap the fruits of the preparation. and reap the fruits of blessings beyond measure. another famous ultra mantra: “i get to do this.” i am invited to partake in the feast of today, the abundance that is already here, not by my earning or deserving, but purely receiving.
present...patient...participating...partaking...in His proximity.
i am invited to receive and trust the proximity, because ultimately, proximity is the point.
left foot, right foot...
trust the process.
match the pace.
feel the proximity.
relinquish the power.
that’s the paradoxical potency.
now taste and see.