liturgies for the leaky

come, fill me with your fullness.

this simple vessel.
empty, dry, lacking again.
partaking, receiving, abundance still available, thank goodness.

progress is slippery.
sometimes feeling more holey than holy.
leaking.
patching seems slower than puncturing.
flow rate out is greater than flow rate in.
draining.

when the filling is fragile, there’s a Filler who’s faithful.
invitation: come back, fill again.
sit under the spigot.
start again. mold again. restore again.
the cracks don’t cancel.
the damages don’t disqualify.
sit under the fountain.

come, fill me with your fullness.

i thought i was flawed when i thought pouring was my singular charge.
when i learn filling and nearness is the priority, it’s all exactly by design.
when primarily labeled a pourer, the model is suboptimal.
when labeled a masterpiece, designed for proximity to a Fountain,
well that’s somehow the perfect design.
leaks require me to linger longer. and closer.
in my lack, there is a fresh flow.

the trickle and the flood both have saturation potential.
when i realize resting under the faucet is an option, then my cracks don’t matter -
in that place, the leaks will never out-pace the overflow.
the simple vessel.
it’s not about the shell anyway, it’s about the contents.
it’s not about me, it’s about what and who i carry.

come, fill me with your fullness.

for the vessel, proximity becomes the priority.
it’s the proximity that determines the potency.
it’s the proximity that establishes the perspective.
the more aware of my leakiness i become, the more i put myself in filling position.
the more aware of my “less”, the more aware of His “more”.

cracks may be windows.
holes may be opportunities.
leaks may be pours.
breaks may be breakthroughs.
weakness may be strength.
emptiness - the place for new fullness.

there’s still more.
there’s an ever deeper, wider, higher filling.
there’s enough.
the gift of being emptied is being filled full again.

come, fill me with your fullness.

more meditating:
ezekiel 43:5 + 47
ephesians 3:14-19
john 4:13-14
1 samuel 16:1
2 corinthians 4:7-18
isaiah 43:18-19
psalm 23