colorways

i often choose my media intake intentionally, or at least attempt to. i think we all do - aside from the many forms where the algorithm does for us, but i’m thinking in terms of books and podcasts, items not as fed but searched. i find myself in rabbit holes of research or intrigue - seeking out information for a purpose or to help me with wisdom in some situation or season.

the other day, however, i clicked to a podcast interview randomly. actually wanting more to turn my brain off, fill the void of a long drive, and let two other humans chatter about something that didn’t involve me or interest me enough that spacing out for sections here and there wouldn’t be problematic. and interestingly, these two talked quite a bit on this media intake problem, silos of ideologies, and technological ages. Mark Sayers was the one being interviewed who famously authored A Non-anxious Presence...you see the connections here….

i could enjoy a conversation about healthy habits around media, online interactions, and the social media age, but probably serves more as a cup of coffee chat than something that i’m passionate enough about to hold an opinion that deserves ink-on-screen.

the more intriguing part of the conversation was around something Mark called the grey zones. he discussed eras in time that serve as frustratingly in-between seasons - grey. there is some resemblance to the previous era or generation and also some hints of what’s to come, but disappointingly muddled.

that concept ended up being a more interesting musing. i don’t think any of us are strangers to grey seasons. in-betweens. messy middles. a little of before, a little of what’s coming. not quite that, but not quite there.

not that i think i have any standing to argue with Mark (nor would i want to be contrary to a non-anxious presence...), and only on the surface would that seem the case, but i think calling something a grey zone is actually a disservice, a bit of a cop-out answer.

thinking in greyscale is generally quite dull and non-creative. literally and figuratively. so we are always just in some form of grey? maybe lighter, maybe darker, but still grey. i think that’s a limited perspective to the layers and complexities that a season may hold. not everything is black and white. when there are almost infinite options on the color spectrum with their own name - or at least number - there’s possibility to give a chapter it’s own identity.

of course each moment of our life has elements of dark and light, before and after. but i imagine a color to be a more creative interpretation of the circumstances - with its own hue, saturation, intensity, brightness. and it contributes in its own way to the picture as a whole. to compare it to what it’s not is defeating and limiting. to appreciate it for what it is invites more curiosity, creativity, and possibility.

this isn’t to discount a disorienting, unexpected, or downright dark season of life. there are some ugly colors out there. there are true hurts looking back and true longings looking forward. i am simply inviting us to imagine that, in the context of a group of other glimmers of color, the colorway as a whole produces something worth looking at. this chapter plays a part, a unique part, and i’m allowing it to carry the role, have a purpose, and be a step in the journey. and maybe naming it gives it meaning, meaning i can appreciate, if not now, once the whole picture starts to reveal itself.

it’s not black or white, it’s more of a chartreuse.
it’s not good or bad, it’s....